Joy is relative. I may find joy in something that does not bring you joy, and you may find joy in something that does not bring me joy. That being said, we can find some joy in all phases of our lives.
During the most difficult and joyless time of my life, when my husband of 37 years walked out, I thought I would never find joy again. During this time, when I would have easily given up, I was determined, even in my weakened state, to strive to find some level of joy. It was hard work, but I fought to bring the joy I once had back into my life, and you can, too.
So, what is joy? The Oxford Dictionary defines joy as…
“a feeling of great pleasure and happiness”
Happiness, according to Very Well Mind, is…
“Happiness is a positive emotional state characterized by feelings such as contentment, joy, and life satisfaction.”
Sometimes, our joy will be a great feeling of happiness or pleasure, as mentioned above. Other times, we may feel we have no joy, and during those times, finding a sense of contentment in our lives can be our form of joy as we dig ourselves out of whatever sad situation we may find ourselves in.
I remember when my husband left, thinking I had no hope, and with no hope, I found the absence of joy. Just getting out of bed was a challenge. How could I ever feel happiness again? I did not realize it then, but when I was struggling just to breathe, I was telling myself, as a way to force myself to move on, that “life is an adventure.” I can now see that amid all the pain, I wanted to find happiness. I did not realize that I was fighting to find myself. I was fighting to recapture joy and contentment in my life.
I was able to recapture great joy in my life. It is not immediate. It takes work and focus, but it can be done.
Before this painful chapter of my life, I found joy in many things. I enjoyed photography, cooking, reading, going on adventures, and many other things. When he left, I was left joyless. I could not accept this in my life, so I began forcing myself to do the things that once brought me joy. Initially, doing things I used to enjoy was not an easy task; it was a painful effort. Over time, I could feel the joy in these activities slowly returning.
If you are going through difficult times and your joy has been stolen by circumstances, situations, or someone in your life, don’t give up. I say strive to regain that joy. Think of something you used to love to do and start to do it again. I know how hard it is, but begin to try. Over time, your joy will return, but remember, it is a process. Don’t give up; be determined to regain your joy so that you will again love your life.
Your homework…
Pick one activity that you used to really enjoy and go do it. You may not have a strong feeling of joy initially, but your joy will return if you keep pushing yourself.
My Example:
Before my ex left me I loved to take photos of flowers. I would go to a local garden with two cameras and take pictures for hours. I was so happy and content, and this gave me joy and purpose.
During the sadness of a broken marriage, I had zero desire to take photos. I did not care anymore. However, a little voice in my head pushed me to try, so I decided to do just that. I charged my camera, and even in my heartbroken state, I headed to the gardens. I remember the day very well. I found myself walking through the gardens as though I was in a fog. In this empty state, I could barely force myself to walk. I was in great emotional pain, but I slowly walked every path in the garden.
I took very few photos on this day. My joy did not return on this visit to the gardens. Now, over 10 years later, I look back and see this day as a new beginning. No, I felt no happiness on this day, but the accomplishment was that I opened the door for happiness to return. In my own way, I was fighting for not only joy and happiness in my future, but this was the day I opened the door to fight for myself and my new life.
Force yourself to enjoy the things you used to love, and your joy will return.
God Bless you On Your Journey!
KathieyV
kathieyvwriter@gmail.com